What do we mean by ‘coming out’?
Coming out is when someone tells someone else their sexual orientation. Most of us were brought up to think that everyone is attracted to the opposite sex. People who are attracted to the opposite sex very rarely need to come out, as who they are attracted to matches what is seen as normal. These people may not even consider themselves to have a sexual orientation, simply because it’s not labelled as different. (https://www.lgbtyouth.org.uk/yp-coming-out)
Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, however, have to make the choice to either publicly ‘hide’ how they feel or tell people their sexual orientation or gender identity. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people come out at all stages of their life and to varying degrees. For some it will be essential for them to live fully as themselves, whereas for others it might be that they only come out to themselves. (https://www.lgbtyouth.org.uk/yp-coming-out)

Why do people choose (not) to come out?
There are a number of reasons why people decide to come out.  Humphrey suggests three main ones. First, there is an issue of honesty and integrity at the personal level; second, there are significant benefits in building open relationships at the professional level; finally, some people think that it is important to educate colleagues about sexual minorities (Clair et al., 2002: 1402 cited in Ward, J. and Winstanley, D. 2005)
Coming out is often implicitly discussed in academic literatures as an individual decision, and the consequences of coming out are also usually explored in relation to the personal narratives of the individual who has disclosed a lesbian and gay sexuality (Valentine G. Skelton T.,Butler  R.: 2003).

Parents: the missing piece?
Most young people come out to a friend or other person close to them before coming out to their parents and family (Beals & Peplau, 2006; D’Augelli, Hershberger, & Pilkington, 1998 cited in  D’amico, Julıen, Tremblay, and Chartrand, 2015). Studies have shown that parents are seldom the first people told about LGB youths’ sexual orientation, out of fear that parents will be ambivalent or hostile (D’Augelli: 2005; D'Augelli, Grossman, Starks & Sinclair 2010). 
In recent years, increasing numbers of GLB youth are coming out to their families at a younger age, when they are still financially dependent on their parents. More and more families now experience same-sex relationships and atypical gender expression (D’Augelli, A. R.:2005; D’amico, Julıen, Tremblay, and Chartrand, 2015). 
As a child comes out of the closet, parents have a tendency to “go into the closet” (e.g., Goldfried & Goldfried, 2001; Svab & Kuhar, 2014 cited in  D’amico, Julıen, Tremblay, and Chartrand, 2015).  But that, too, is changing.  A discourse analysis by Ratkowska-Pasikowska of interviews gathered in the book Rodzicewyjdźciez szafy! (Beczek, 2015) (translator's note: Parents, Come Out of the Closet!, own translation), illustrates that parents, too, go through different stages in accepting the sexual identity of their child.  Ratkowska-Pasikowska (2018) identifies three kinds of reactions.  Some parents, when they first suspect their child is homosexual or bisexual, take action.  They become allies or activists, they speak up and they try to build a more welcoming environment for their child.  Other parents wait.  They wait for their child to come out, sometimes hoping it will pass.  A final group is labelled ‘hysterical’.  They are unable or unwilling to accept their child’s sexual orientation and respond in extreme ways.  Understandably, this is the kind of reaction LGBT children and young people fear most.
It is important to recognise that many parents, even those who respond well to their child being gay or bisexual, experience fear.  Fear that their child will be rejected by friends and family; fear that their child runs health risks; fear that their life will always be harder.  It takes time to overcome this.  The support of a parent’s community - friend, family, co-workers, neighbours, … - is important in easing their concerns. 

Peers
Adolescents’ peers are crucial to their successful transition to early adulthood. For LGB youth, peers’ reactions to their knowledge of youths’ sexual orientation can be profoundly important. Loss of close friends and even acquaintances can exacerbate feelings of isolation that many GLB youth report. (D’Augelli, A. R.: 2005).
 
Coming out in the classroom
Sadly, many lesbian, gay and bisexual people still experience homophobia and/or bullying at some stage in their life, whether it is at school, college, university, work or in the street. Homophobia is physical or verbal abuse to someone because they are or are assumed to be lesbian, gay or bisexual. Homophobia or bullying can include name calling, being threatened, being hit or kicked, being made fun of, being ignored, or having rumours spread about you. (https://www.lgbtyouth.org.uk/yp-coming-out)

No one deserves to be bullied, and no pupil should ever be the victim of homophobia in school.  But despite increasing efforts to build safe and welcoming schools for all, homophobic bullying in classrooms and in playgrounds remains a problem across Europe.

• Why, after nine years of teaching, I've finally come out to my students http://attitude.co.uk/why-after-nine-years-of-teaching-ive-finally-come-out-to-my-students/
• http://www.elleuk.com/life-and-culture/culture/longform/a38150/coming-out-stories-gay-bisexual/

Videos Related to “Coming Out”:

1. What LGBT students want you to know https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-G4vA6TsX4
2. 'Ask me': What LGBTQ students want their professors to know https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnbnF8QAnsY
3. Interview with LGBT high schoolers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haPXxFLQhJI
4. High school senior comes out as LGBT while accepting award https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yILh_jMJv7k
5. Teacher comes out of the closet with a rap song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFJVUV9-zFQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26rb-IXwbhA
6. Morgana Bailey: The danger of hiding who you are (She comes out in her TED Talk) https://www.ted.com/talks/morgana_bailey_the_danger_of_hiding_who_you_are?referrer=playlist-on_coming_out 
7. Geena Rocero: Why I must come out (A Fashion model comes out in her TED Talk) https://www.ted.com/playlists/307/on_coming_out
8. Elle Mills’ (the maker of fun genre-twisting YouTube videos) coming out story https://youtu.be/pDi7cezk9CA
9. Coming Out & Dad's Shocking Confession https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbDCl5pcpz0
   
   

• Do you know anyone who has come out?  How did people in their environment react?  How did you react?
• How might your family and friends react to you coming out?  How would you prepare for such a conversation?
• Does your teaching training help you deal with pupils who come out?  Do you feel you are prepared, should a pupil approach you about coming out?   

Articles related to “coming out”

• http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1363460705049572
• Christian Grov , David S. Bimbi , José E. Nanín & Jeffrey T. Parsons (2006) Race, ethnicity, gender, and generational factors associated with the coming‐out process among gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals, The Journal of Sex Research, 43:2, 115-121, DOI: 10.1080/00224490609552306
• Rasmussen M.L. (2004) The Problem of Coming Out, Theory Into Practice, 43:2, 144-150, DOI: 10.1207/s15430421tip4302_8
• Karen M Harbeck K.M. (2014) Coming Out of the Classroom Closet: Gay and Lesbian Students, Teachers, and Curricula, Routledge.
• Ward, J. and Winstanley, D. (2005), Coming out at work: performativity and the recognition and renegotiation of identity. The Sociological Review, 53: 447–475. doi:10.1111/j.1467-954X.2005.00561.x
• Valentine G., Skelton T., Butler R. (2003) Coming Out and Outcomes: Negotiating Lesbian and Gay Identities With, and in, the Family Environment and Planning D:Society and Space Vol 21, Issue 4: 479 – 499.
• Salvati M., Pistella J., Ioverno S., Laghi F.& Baiocco R. (2017): Coming Out to Siblings and Internalized Sexual Stigma: The Moderating Role of Gender in a Sample of Italian Participants, Journal of GLBT Family Studies, DOI: 10.1080/1550428X.2017.1369916
• D’amico E., Julien D., Tremblay N., Chartrand E.(2015) Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youths Coming Out to Their Parents: Parental Reactions and Youths’ Outcomes, Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 11:5, 411-437, DOI: 10.1080/1550428X.2014.981627
• D'Augelli A.R, Grossman A.H., Starks M.T.,Sinclair K.O.(2010) Factors Associated with Parents’ Knowledge of Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youths’ Sexual Orientation, Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 6:2, 178-198, DOI: 10.1080/15504281003705410
• D’Augelli, A. R. (2005). Stress and adaptation among families of lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth: Research challenges. Journal of GLBT Family Studies, 1(2), 115–135.